Ep. 173: From Victim to Victor – Emeka’s Story

Kourtney Cromwell:
Welcome to the indoubt Podcast, where we explore the challenging topics that young adults often face. Each week, we talk with guests who help answer questions of faith, life, and culture, connecting them to our daily experiences, and God’s Word. For more info on indoubt, visit indoubt.ca or indoubt.com.

Ryan McCurdy:
Welcome to this episode of indoubt! I’m Ryan, your host, and today we have a great guest. His name is Emeka Nnaka, and he has an incredible story of how God has worked in his life despite tragedy and a big change that he had to face.
Emeka was an aspiring athlete. He was on a football team in his college years and was really making steps towards a professional career as a football player when in a sudden experience, he was paralyzed. So we listened to Emeka’s story and how God has continued to use him, despite this tragedy. So make sure you listen in and hear of the good that has come from such a tragic story.

Ryan McCurdy:
Well, today I have with me, someone that is a very proficient speaker and communicator, goes all over the place. Was recently hosted by Ellen DeGeneres herself, Emeka Nnaka. How are you doing, man?

Emeka Nnaka:
I’m doing good!

Ryan McCurdy:
So Emeka, I know you a little bit, and we’ve just become Facebook friends which is awesome, I’m glad about that. But maybe for some of our followers who don’t know much about you, don’t know much about your story, would you be able to just share a little bit of who you are, and what got you to the place that you’re at right now?

Emeka Nnaka:
So again, hi guys, I’m Emeka. I am 31 years old, and it’s crazy because you know, every time someone asks me a little about myself, It can really start in any given place. I can start, you know, where I was born in D.C., where I grew up in Georgia, where I, you know, spent some formative years in Nigeria, when I moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma from Georgia to go to school. But typically, that is where I start, is, you know, after graduating high school, you know, like any kid here in America. The traditional path is to go to high school, get your diploma, go to college, get your degree, get a job, get a life, live happily ever after. We know very well that life has different plans for us, even if we make plans, life kind of happens differently.
I was similar, I went to high school, my parents had a plan for me to go to college out here, in Tulsa, Oklahoma. So I moved here in 2007 to go, and I spent my first couple… my first year here was a rough life, to say the least. I’m not the most academic, of academic people and so I struggled in school, but I honestly feel like I would have struggled anywhere in school, just because I wasn’t in the correct mind state. Listeners, Oral Roberts University is one of the premium universities in the U.S. And so my mom and my dad had this school on their radar for years. When they told me about it, I didn’t wanna come out here because one, I didn’t know anything about the school, it was a Christian university and at the time I was just like, “I don’t know if that’s my cup of tea right now,” and they didn’t have a football team, and I wanted to play football.
But I ultimately ended up moving out here to give it a try and man, like I said, that first year, struggled mightily. Just failing class after class. So, did that for a couple semesters and was just really struggling. I ended up, I was working at the athletic center there at school, and I bump into a guy who, I actually knocked him over. He stands up and he’s like, “Wow, you’re a huge dude,” and I’m like, “Yeah, you know, I’ve been lifting weights” and he’s like “Man, you should be playing football somewhere” and I’m like “Yeah I know I should be,” and he introduced me to this team that is starting and so I’m like, “Yeah all right, let me try out,” and I try out. I made the team, and things are great.
I mean, I got a whole pep in my step. I’m good at football, I’m in the best shape in my life, its afforded me some influence. I mean it was fun, it was just a fun time. And at this point, my life was completely different, but things were great. Things were exactly where I wanted to be. I knew that I had a level of talent and ability, and just God-given stature that could get me somewhere. And that was my plan, was, I will work out, go play somewhere, go do a Combine. And if anything, join some league, NFL, CFL, any league and start my career; or further my career.

Emeka Nnaka:
Uh, man I’ll tell ya, that was, it was one of the most, one of my most happiest days was getting the call from a school in Missouri here, and them asking me to come play football there. And that it was gonna be like a fresh chance with my grades, and with my, with schooling. And this time it made me feel like, “This is gonna be totally different, because now it’s about football and I know that, you know. I’m working hard at this thing, for this thing.” And so that was it, my plan was I was about to go and transfer to the school, and start my life again.
Three weeks after that, at a game in Arkansas, on a play, I’ve made a hundred times before. I go down this field, and I make this tackle, and, “Crack!”. That’s all I heard, and then I fall over, the ballplayer falls over. He gets up, and I am struggling to get back up. And I’m completely aware of what’s happening in a sense of like, “Okay, I just made this play, I gotta get up. I just need a second.” And so my teammates are now yelling like, “Hey Emeka, get up, let’s go,” I’m like, “Yeah, I will get up, just give me a second.”
A couple of seconds turn into minutes and people, you know, it’s very apparent that there’s something wrong. And trainers are running out and they are assessing the situation, asking me if I know what time it is if I know where I’m at, and I’m completely there. I’m very lucid, I know what the situation is. And if things couldn’t get any worse, oh they do, because about ten minutes into this whole thing, my breathing starts to change drastically. Because one, for the audience, if you’re not familiar with football, football players, we wear pads that are fastened tightly to our chest, we have helmets with face masks. And for me, I just ran down the length of a football field. S,o I’m completely out of breath. I’ve got these pads, I’ve got this helmet on, and now I’m trying to take a breath, a deep breath, and can’t do it. All I know is that I can’t breathe the way I wanna breathe. And so they can’t do anything about it, because they can’t move me, they can’t move my, you know, take any stuff off. And so I’m there, and I’m just trying to pay attention to each breath, and like really just like, “Okay, I want this breath, I want this breath,” and try to really focus in on my breathing. And then at one point I close my eyes, and in my head I’m just praying and I’m begging God that, you know I’m just thanking God that my head is safe, and I’m thanking God that I am alive, and that’s like, I’m just, “Thank God”, man.
All of a sudden, all of a sudden, the trainer is screaming my name. Like “Meka! Meka! Wake up! Wake up!”, And I’m like, “I’m awake! I’m awake!” They’re like, “What are you doing?” I’m like, “I’m praying”. They’re like, “Well pray with your eyes open, God can still hear you.” *laughs* Touche, touche. As I was going to the ambulance, I was trying to let everyone know that I was gonna be okay. You know, the kids, the fans. Because at this moment, I’ve been on the field for such a long time, that it’s so quiet like it was deafening in there. You could cut through the silence with a knife. I was trying to wave to let everyone know that I was gonna be okay. And I tried and I tried, and I could not move my hand, could not lift my arm. I could not do anything. At that moment I was wondering, “Is everything gonna be okay?”

Emeka Nnaka:
I would get in the ambulance and be rushed to the hospital where they would cut off all the equipment I had, they drilled the helmet off. I would go in for an MRI and I would find out that C5 C6 was the level at which I had just broken my neck. And that they were going to chill my spine, and I was going to have a 9-hour neck surgery the next day.
And so the next day, I, sure enough, I wake up, they take me into surgery. I have, they, they repaired my neck, they put in plates from C4 to C8. Coming out of surgery, I remember I couldn’t move anything. Couldn’t move anything below my neck. I can remember being in the hospital, just, not really understanding why I’m there. Not really understanding why I couldn’t move my body.

Ryan McCurdy:
Let me ask you this, let me ask you this. Just because I think, this story is, like, it’s fascinating to me. It’s incredible because I’m thinking to myself, as I’m listening to you share this story. Like one day, you’re in the best shape of your life, you’re running around, you’re sprinting, you’re tackling people, you’re getting tackled, you’re getting up, you’re running around. And all of a sudden within, one day, within one action, you go and you fracture your neck, and you break your neck. I’m just curious like, how what was that like? The process of that change from, you know, what did that feel like? What was your perspective on that, on that change for you?

Emeka Nnaka:
So, good question. Everything that happened at the hospital, was still very. Like, while I didn’t understand it, it was like, “Okay, I’m hurt so I’m in the hospital for a reason.” I spent 10 days in ICU after my surgery, they brought me back to Tulsa where I spent 3 weeks in the hospital stabilizing, then I spent 3 months in another hospital doing rehab. Throughout that entire time, the light at the end of the tunnel for me was getting out of the hospital. ’cause I felt sure that I was going back to my life. I thought, “Alright, I’ll wear a neck brace for a little bit.” I’m going back to my life.
When I got out of the hospital, and I am now faced with life as a person with a disability, it was then that it became real. It is then that that question comes in, because during the time in the hospital, I didn’t, you know, I didn’t know. It was still like, for me it was still very like, “Hey,” I’m like, “this is a little honeymoon phase, I’m gonna be outta here in a little bit, and I’ll be back to my life.” But it was when I got out of the hospital that the darkest, hardest months of my life began.
Because, honestly when my accident happened, everyone’s life around me stopped. My mom, my dad, my sisters, my friends, strangers, my teammates, like my, my hospital room was a hub for everyone around my life. Then after 3 months, 4 months, people gotta go back to school, people gotta go back to work, people gotta go back to living their life. And here I am in this position, worst position of my life, worst shape of my life, with my life still stuck on stop while everyone else is living. I felt like I was losing my life while I watched everyone live theirs. Extremely hard to watch reality T.V., to be on social media, just because it was so difficult to see people doing things that I felt like I should be doing.

Emeka Nnaka:
And for those first couple months, I was like, “You know what? I’m not gonna have-” like you know, “I’ll pray,” and you know, “I’m asking God for so much” and I’m telling myself that I’m not gonna ask the question, that you know He might expect me. Like I’m not gonna ask it. “God, I trust you’re true like you’re gonna get me through this.” One month goes by, two months goes by, like, “I’m not, I’m not gonna ask, like “You’re gonna be alright.” Three months goes by, four months goes by, it’s now, it’s, getting darker and darker. Because for me, it was more so like, “Okay, with time, I’m just, things are gonna just come back, I’m just gonna get back up.” After five months it’s like, “Wow, I, now I’m dealing with other health issues surrounding being paralyzed.” Six months goes by. Seven months goes by and I break down like, “God, like why? Why did this happen to me? Why do I have to go through this? Why aren’t you here?” Like, “why am I in this wilderness?” So many “why’s”. And, I think sometimes we ask God questions. You know, if you ask God a question, you better be ready to receive – you know the answer, the response, something. And so as clear as I am speaking to you right now, and I won’t say that I heard a voice – I didn’t hear a voice – but I got a response that I just started writing down. It was, “How dare you ask why? How dare you ask why in your situation, when there are so many other why’s in this world?” And it stopped me right there in my tracks. I was like, “Hm, you’re right.” And then the next follow-up was, “The question you should be asking is, How? How can you use this? How can this pray glory? How can this serve others?”

Ryan McCurdy:
When I look at your life Emeka, I think that question is at the forefront of what I see. As I scroll through your photos, and some of the stuff that you’ve been involved in, it’s like you’re actively going to camps where there’s children with disabilities, who are you know, gonna be in wheelchairs and maybe have never known what it’s been like to actually walk or run. And you’re going and you’re sharing a message of hope. I think my question is, like what was in that conversation, what was in that journaling, and that prayer, where you felt like God was more so trying to target you and say, “Hey, Emeka, think of how not why?” Do you think that we tend to, as culture and society, go to the “why”? And like we try to be God ourself?

Emeka Nnaka:
Well what God was teaching me in this time, that what was happening to me was something more than happening to me, something was happening for me. And what was happening in me was more important than what was happening to me. I don’t think that we understand that. Especially when it comes to pain, and for me, it was one of those realizations that there are some things that are happening in you. There are some things that are being torn away. Some pride, some ego, some selfishness, that are being torn away and if you do this right, you will be stronger than what you – what’s happening outside, is more important than what’s happening inside. So I made it my business to show people how to carry the burden. Their burden.
Because for a long time, in that beginning stage, I mean I prayed so hard for healing. You know, making my bargains with God. “God let me walk and I’ll never, I’ll never do this again, I’ll never say this word again, I’ll never- I’ll open the door for every person I ever see.” And again, my prayers had to shift and it wasn’t even just my prayers but, I also fought against the mindset of our Westernized Christianity in a sense. I would go to church, and not only am I the problem, but people just saw a problem that needs to be fixed. And so with that, I just saw a problem that needs to be fixed. I could not get past this wheelchair, and so my prayers are you know, “God, help me walk again, help me get up again. Let me play football again.” As if my life, will not start until I get out of this chair. And that was the anchor that held me down for a very long time. Until, again in another conversation, it was just like, “Well, what do you constitute as healing? Because if I let you walk today, and you go back to the life that you lived, are you healed? And you go back to being selfish and living for yourself. Is that healing?”
So I began to let God do a work in my life that started from the inside out. That is when I found true healing. That is when I found hope and purpose and that is when I let go of the idea that healing meant walking.

Ryan McCurdy:
Yeah, even as you’re talking, I’m thinking about how so easily it is for us as followers of Jesus, to just want – you know – “God, we’ll follow you this way so that we get this kind of result in our life.”

Emeka Nnaka:
Mm-hmm (affirmative)

Ryan McCurdy:
You know, we have a cause and effect relationship with God it’s like, “God if I do this, the output is gonna be this.” And from your story, what I’m hearing just over and over and over, is what held you grounded, what held you sane, like you know not giving way to the torment and the torture of the internal battle, was that God was there saying, “Hey, I wanna make something beautiful on the inside.” You know, when I’m hearing your story, I’m hearing this, God is doing a work in your life for good, and the very good that God is working up in your life is that you look more like Jesus.

Emeka Nnaka:
Yeah, I think for the most part is that, when it comes to pain, people are always looking at like you said, “What good is it going to do for me?” I tell people all the time that there is – you can always find some purpose in pain if you look for it. But the caveat to that is that there are a lot of times, that purpose won’t be for you. Because if you’re looking for it to serve you, you might miss it. Anything that we go through as individuals gives us ground to help the next person going through it. No matter – the worst thing that happens to you and you might be like, well, there’s no way this should ever happen to you, but if you take that load correctly, if someone else is going through something like that, you can help them. And, look at Jesus, Jesus’ life had a purpose that was not for him. That pain that he went through did not serve a purpose for Jesus, it served a purpose for the rest of mankind. And so I think we forget that we forget what it means to look like Jesus. We forget what it means to be like Jesus, that that does mean, you know, we go through some things, that it does mean that life is unfair. I don’t know how life can be any more unfair than to a man that was unblemished, and but was crucified, and beaten.

Ryan McCurdy:
You know Emeka, I wanna take a second to even ask this question because you mentioned that there are gonna be people walking through hardship and then yeah, you know you’re asking the question, “How are we gonna respond to this? How are we gonna make our lives not just for ourselves and actually to benefit others and to support others and to walk with others?” So that God can use our experience for his good. So I wanna so you this question. What would you say to someone, or how would you encourage someone who’s currently facing hardship? What would be your go to?

Emeka Nnaka:
Phew, man. Talking to someone that’s going through something difficult. The first thing that I would say is that your pain, it’s valid. And your feelings about that pain, it’s valid. I think people think that because they’re hurting, that you know, they’re – you know we all do this, you know? That if I get hurt, I feel like I’m the only person that’s ever known this hurt. And we hide, you know? Pain makes us hide. But I also don’t want a person that feels like when you hear someone talking about overcoming pain, or overcoming adversity, that that means that your pain should be minimized, because it’s not. Pain is – pain is valid.
So that’s my first thing, is I’d say that pain is valid, feel it, you know the emotions – identify the emotions that you have about it. And then I’d say, identify the story that you’re telling yourself about the pain. Because I think sometimes its less about what is happening to us, and more about what we’re telling ourselves about what’s happening to us. Because I can – you know – if I say, “I broke my neck on a football field, I’m paralyzed, I can’t walk, my life is over, I can’t play football.” That sounds like a depressing story. If I say, “Hey, you know, some things happened to me, life happened to me like it happens to all people. I went through some hardships, but by the grace of God, and through friends and family, and a strong community, I was able to overcome. And now I live my life with purpose, all-purpose for the service of other people.” That changes how I feel about that. Those emotions don’t get wrapped up, those many of emotions don’t get wrapped up in that story. Because we live the story we tell ourselves. So again I would say, pain is valid, feel it, and know that that pain? It can serve a purpose for other people.

Ryan McCurdy:
Yeah, that’s beautiful, man. I think its an incredible story. You have an incredible story, and what I’m hearing over and over is just this foundational piece of, “You know what? Trust that he’s leading my life, he’s gonna use me to make the most of my life.” And so that’s been a huge encouragement to us. Even this story of overcoming and the change that it takes, the internal change that it takes to make progress to go through what you’re going through, it’s huge. It’s a message that we don’t wanna hear because it requires that we confront some of the stuff that we’re going through on a deeper level, an emotional level, an internal level. When it’s like, wow, we just want life to go easy for us, and so-

Emeka Nnaka:
Well and so you don’t wanna answer hard questions but let me say this. While I know that my life has been something. It’s been insane, and I appreciate that love. I just want people to know that my life is not my own. No one reads a good book and praises the pen that it was written with. You know, you praise the author. And so my life, I am a pain in the head with God, and I’ve just kind of found a way to let him write it out. Obviously, I gotta do my part but, yeah man he’s got – trusting is not easy. I don’t want anyone hearing this to think that it’s easy because it’s not. It’s simple, but it’s complex at the same time. And just because you don’t see things happening, doesn’t mean things aren’t happening, and it just again, just step after step after step. And soon enough you’ll look up and see that “Wow, I’ve covered some real ground here. Ground that I didn’t even know that I was covering.”

Ryan McCurdy:
That’s beautiful, man. It’s been a joy to have you and to hear your story. To hear of how God is working in your life. Emeka Nnaka, thanks so much for being with us, man.

Emeka Nnaka:
Thank you, man.

Ryan McCurdy:
Thanks for joining us on this episode of indoubt, with Emeka Nnaka and his incredible story of how he has gone through something that has been for many people would see as tragic. But he has walked through it with such a firmness in his faith, and with hope. And so I pray that this would be an inspiration to you, and no matter what you’re going through, that you would be inspired trusting God, just like Emeka did.
You can follow him @emekannaka on Instagram, and you can go to his website emekannaka.com to find out more.
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Kourtney Cromwell:
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