• indoubt Podcast
  • ·
  • September 2, 2019

Ep. 190: Sunshine for Maddie

With Maddie Hardie, , , and Joshua Scott

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While we might not see water being turned into wine these days, miracles are happening all around us. Join us this week on indoubt as Joshua talks with Maddie Hardie – who’s experienced a miracle firsthand. Just last year, Maddie was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer. But Maddie’s story doesn’t end there. In a matter of months, she went from being diagnosed with a death sentence, to walking out of the hospital with no signs of cancer! If that’s not a miracle, what is? Maddie knows that God has worked a miracle in her life and her story serves as a wonderful reminder that we should hold fast to God in all moments of our lives.

View Transcription

Kourtney Cromwell:
Welcome to the indoubt Podcast where we explore the challenging topics that young adults often face. Each week we talk with guests who help answer questions of faith, life, and culture, connecting them to our daily experiences and God’s word. For more info on Indoubt, visit indoubt.ca or indoubt.com.

Kourtney Cromwell:
Thanks so much for listening to this episode of indoubt. My name’s Kourtney, the indoubt Coordinator, and I’m so happy you’re here. On this week’s episode of indoubt, we’re joined by a special young woman who’s local to us and has gone through a wild roller coaster of life in the past nine months, Maddie Hardie. Maddie was recommended to us by another one of our listeners saying that we had to have her as a guest, and I’m so glad that we did. Maddie’s story is a testimony to God’s strength and his miracles that still happen today. I hope you find encouragement and hope in this episode with Joshua and Maddie Hardie.

Joshua Scott:
Hello everybody. Welcome to indoubt. My name is Joshua. I’m one of your hosts and I’m joined today by Maddie Hardie, who has a pretty incredible story of having to trust the Lord through some pretty dark times. And I’m really excited to hear you share it with us, so thanks for joining us.

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah, of course. Of course.

Joshua Scott:
So I wonder if you could just share that story with us?

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah, of course. So, in October of last fall, so October 2018, I felt pretty sick. I remember the time of year vividly just because it was when I was getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. I was putting my contact in my eye and my eye was very yellow, and I had been experiencing some unusual symptoms in the weeks prior, but just brushed those off as stress or exhaustion.
In the summer before, so the summer of 2018, I was working two full-time jobs. I was doing a bakery, so I would open that from 7:00 to 4:00, and then I’d rush over to Earls for 4:30 and do a closing shift there. And I’ll do that about five days a week and sometimes six. And so, any symptoms that I was experiencing, like no energy, super tired, no appetite, I was just chalking up to stress. However, that was not the case and my symptoms were actually getting worse and worse. And then so in October I noticed that I had yellow eyes and then my body was yellow, like my skin, and breathing became a lot harder. And so, I went to my campus doctor actually a few days after and he called me immediately, a few hours after our appointment, and just urged me to go to the emergency room. He said that my blood was looking a little off and that my liver enzymes or my enzymes were quite high and that was not normal.
And so I went into the emergency room that night and I remember meeting with a doctor who told me that it was just a simple gallbladder issue. And so he pointed in my scans where everything was and kind of went over the plan for surgery, and so he sent me home that night to sleep and then I came back first thing in the morning with my mom and my Nana.
We were going to meet with a doctor to go over my surgical plan, and I was brought into a curtained area and where I was told that I would meet with a doctor in a few minutes and then it was not a few minutes, it was about an hour and a half probably. So that hour and a half I just… So many thoughts are racing through your mind, and so I obviously knew that this was not going to be a simple gallbladder issue.
And sure enough about an hour and a half later, a doctor came in the room and using a clipboard to cover his face he just said, “We aren’t quite sure what kind it is, but your scans reveal a unknown stomach cancer.”

Joshua Scott:
Wow.

Maddie Hardie:
And then so he continued on to say, “Your stomach and your liver is completely riddled with this.” And then so obviously so many thoughts are running through your mind, but I just responded out loud, “I knew it and I can do this.” And so, the doctor just kind of stood there quite awkwardly for a little bit and then left.
He sent the head of internal medicine to speak with my mom while a nurse took me out for a biopsy. So, while he was meeting with my mom, the head of internal medicine, he gave her the words terminal metastatic stomach cancer. And so he just said that there was no treatment options and that there is nothing that their team could do for me, and he suggested that she just take me home and make me comfortable.
So within hours, just everyone that I loved was in my hospital room and we were just all trying to fathom what to do and the news that we’ve just been given. That was when I decided to make my story as public as possible and just to get as many people praying as possible. So, a few hours that night, a new emergency doctor came on shift and he popped his head into my room just to introduce himself to me.
And little did he know, I recognized him because he was a long-time family friend like from years back. He was also a regular at the coffee shop that I had served out in the summer. But because of my jaundiced skin and my weight loss, I wasn’t recognizable. So, he popped in and he just said he needed to meet the girl that everyone was talking about. He came on shift and the staff was talking about the 21 year old girl who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.
So my mom popped into the room and we all made the connection of who everyone was, and he said… there was a sadness in his voice and he was just like, “I can’t believe that this is your Maddie.” And then he just went on and on about how angry he was at that doctor for telling us that there was no hope and giving us a diagnosis so quickly without looking into my case further. So that night he put himself on my case and he’s just like, “This is not going to be your story. You do not have terminal cancer. We’re not ending this here.”

Joshua Scott:
Wow.

Maddie Hardie:
And he put himself on my case and admitted me in the hospital, and then that was my 28 day stay. So that was in October, 28 days in the hospital. November, I underwent my first chemo treatment, and then February was my sixth round of chemo, and then April 1st my scans came back clear. Then I have my six month in October.

Joshua Scott:
Wow.

Maddie Hardie:
I know.

Joshua Scott:
That’s incredible.

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah.

Joshua Scott:
So your first response when the doctor told you was, “I knew this and I’ve got it.”

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah.

Joshua Scott:
What happened in your mind in that moment? How is it that that was your response?

Maddie Hardie:
It’s crazy to think about just because knowing my past, I’m a very fearful, worried, like constantly stressed out person. So, having that be my initial response was… And it’s kind of hard to put into words, but I think that that’s just one of the many miracles that I had seen from God, and just the amount of peace that He gave me in that moment is insane.
Then obviously I have the thoughts racing through my mind. Like it’s a very scary thing. You never thought that cancer would be given to you. You never think that you’re going to hear that word, but I did. So a whole bunch of situations race through your mind but God definitely gave me a peace that overwhelmed it all.

Joshua Scott:
Was there ever a moment in the whole process of the journey that that statement wasn’t quite as sure in your heart?

Maddie Hardie:
Well, like even minutes afterwards, when the doctor left the room and I just look at my mom and Nana who are completely devastated, and immediately I start to think of everything I dreamt for myself that might not be attainable at that moment and everything that I want for my life, that may not happen or I might not be here for. And so definitely those thoughts come into my mind. But every single time they did, I just prayed that God would silence them because I was just like, that’s not going to be my story. And that’s not how it’s going to end.

Joshua Scott:
So in those quiet moments when you were all alone, I don’t know if maybe there were many moments when you were all alone, I’m sure you had a lot of people with you. What went on between you and the Lord in your conversation? Were there moments of despair or did you cling so firmly to the rock?

Maddie Hardie:
So I think that throughout my hospital stay I always had someone with me, and so I was never alone in that fact. I think when I started to process it all is when I transitioned into moving back home and everyone else’s lives continued on. And so, my friends went back to school and I just realized that I couldn’t go back to school. I couldn’t go back to work.
And that’s when it really sunk in for me, and so I think that that was probably when I was at my lowest and just cried out to God the most. But it was even in then where He would just show me through other people, through strangers, through messages that I am never alone. And even in that time where I just felt that my entire life was over just because I couldn’t go back to my routine, He just showed me that there’s just so much more than that.

Joshua Scott:
Wow. Did you feel in those moments where you felt like it could go away, but you’re praying, “God, would You hold me fast here?” Did you feel like God drew near to you in a very special way?

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah, and even that is hard to put into words just because, well, I’ve been a Christian my whole life, for 21 years, but I’ve never experienced God in the way that I have in these past nine months. And so… But no, absolutely, I definitely felt His presence.

Joshua Scott:
That’s cool. And in what ways did you feel that? So, I’m sure there are moments of just this peace that God gives you, but you probably felt that through family and through others. What were the other ways that you saw and felt God’s comfort?

Maddie Hardie:
I would just say that the community of people that I had around me and the support that I had. Like hours after that I had 15 people in my room with me, and who left work and their busy schedules to come and see me. Then I was just looking around the room and looking at all these people that God has placed in my life to show how much they love me and to also illustrate His love for me. And it’s just like He has placed these people in my life so that I never need to be alone or feel scared or anything. So that was probably the biggest ways in which I saw His presence, was through the people that He’s placed in my life.

Joshua Scott:
That’s cool. So what were the things that you would say you’ve learned about God through such a difficult journey?

Maddie Hardie:
There’s so many takeaways and so many avenues that I could go down, but I just kind of wanted to break it down into two main ideas. And so, my first idea was that there’s another in the fire. And when I say that, I just mean that kind of similar to what I said previously is just God has placed people in my life so that you don’t have to go through any difficult circumstance or trial alone.
He’s placed these people in your life so that they can love on you and they can also illustrate God’s love for you. Then my second big takeaway was just that God is in control and that He can do anything. So I kind of base that out of the scripture found in Ephesians three and it reads, “God can do anything you know, greater than anything you can dream or imagine.”
So I really took that scripture and I just really thought what God wants for my life. And so, I, in the past I have known to hold on very tightly to my life and I wanted to be in control of it and plan out every single detail. When it didn’t go my way, I would often become quite fearful or worried. So, when my diagnosis came along, I just realized that nothing I’m doing is clearly making the situation better or the way I’ve lived my life, it’s just not… I can’t be in control of this situation.
So it was then where I just finally let go of the tight grip that I had over my life, and I just let God come in and take full control. I saw Him do amazing things, and so my biggest takeaway was just let God take control of your life and so that you can live your life according to the great plan that He has for it.

Joshua Scott:
Cool. You’re a very musical person, right?

Maddie Hardie:
I am.

Joshua Scott:
You’ve sung on the worship team at your church, and even at one point during this whole process you sang on the worship team.

Maddie Hardie:
I did, yeah.

Joshua Scott:
So what role did music and worship music particularly play in your journey and being encouraged and comforted?

Maddie Hardie:
So music has always been a huge part of my life and so was worship. So, the fact that I get to combine those two together is super fun for me. But throughout my diagnosis it looked like just listening to music, writing music, everything like that. I actually had a day pass in my stay at the hospital one day and my best friend, who I also lead on the team with, came and slept over with me.
And we got ready in our room Sunday morning and went out to Chilliwack to sing, and I’ll just never forget, after each service just the church prayed for me and that was the coolest experience ever. So, worship for me looks like a whole bunch of different things, whether it’s driving and listening to it in the car or reading it, writing it Sunday mornings. But leading on Sunday mornings is a very cool experience.

Joshua Scott:
That must’ve been a pretty surreal moment standing before the church, singing in the light of everything that’s going on in your life. Do you have a word of encouragement for those of us who come to church on a Sunday and maybe feel something similar and probably not nearly what you felt, but how do you sing? How do you sing in the midst of something like that?

Maddie Hardie:
In the past I have gone through many difficult circumstances and I have pulled away from God, and I’ve seen that that just doesn’t work and it doesn’t lead me anywhere. And so, I wanted this experience to be different, and I knew that this was different. So the minute I received my diagnosis and I just think that the overwhelming sense of peace and confidence in God that I had was God just urging me to just trust in Him finally, and just to see what would come of that.
I’ve just always had that in the back of my mind. Like I’ve been down this road before where I haven’t fully praised God or I haven’t thanked Him or even acknowledged Him in my scary situations, and that’s gotten me nowhere. So, I’ve just wanted this situation to be different. So that was just kind of my mindset behind it all.
So on a Sunday morning, especially that Sunday morning, I think when I was worshiping, I was just thanking God for allowing me to be here physically and health wise. I think for anyone out there who is sitting there in a Sunday morning who doesn’t want to be, I think that God has brought you there for a reason and He has something for you that morning, whether it’s in the song or the sermon or in the people that you meet. I just think that there’s a reason that we are where we are, and we need to really trust that and acknowledge that.

Joshua Scott:
That’s cool. So, in your love for worship music, was there any particular song that meant a lot to you in this process?

Maddie Hardie:
A whole bunch. I mean I listen to music every day, all day, but I think that the song that really got me through is by a church called Mosaic Music. And so, they are a church based out in LA, and they have a song written by Mariah McManus called Miracle. It’s just every single lyric rang so true to my situation, and to my story.
It was really cool actually just because she was also one of the people that rallied around me and showed their support for me. I had never met her before, but she is someone who I greatly admire, and I had tickets to go see her and listen to her sing before everything happened. And so, while I was missing the concert, it meant a lot to me to receive a video of her with a little sunshine sticker, just giving me her support and just telling her that her and the team is praying for me. So that was really cool.

Joshua Scott:
That’s cool. So, the sunshine sticker that she held out, what was that about?

Maddie Hardie:
So that was created by a friend of mine from Southside. All through my diagnosis at the beginning, people were posting pictures to pray for me and messages and all that stuff, and there was always a sunshine located on that. Or they would always refer to me as Sunshine, and so that was very encouraging to me.
But someone from the church took this and created a car decal, like a sunshine car decal. So, they were selling it everywhere, Earls were selling them, the restaurant that I serve at, the church was selling them. And so, you drive around Chilliwack and they’re everywhere. I’ve seen them in Langley, and I’ve gotten pictures in Tennessee of cars having them. And so that’s just meant a lot to me that I have a community and a city rallying around me.

Joshua Scott:
Absolutely.

Maddie Hardie:
So that was really cool.

Joshua Scott:
Very cool. So, you really experienced, like you were saying, even on that Sunday, the church gathered around you to pray for you, and you had many friends come alongside you and your family. Would you say that your love for the church has grown through a process like this?

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah, absolutely. I’ve always, like I’ve been serving at Southside for six years, so I’ve always considered it my family. It’s always been a super fun time to be with everyone on a Sunday morning, but absolutely just seeing how they have come through for me and I’ve met a lot of new people through this and a lot of new connections in our church and a lot of new relationships, which has been really cool. But just seeing how they rally around me and my family was absolutely insane and something I’m very thankful for.
One of the really cool things that came out of this was the Sunshine Fund. So, because of all of this, they have created this fund where we help families in need with critical illness, terminal illness, and it just provides them that hope and that extra support where they might not get it anywhere else. So that’s been really cool.

Joshua Scott:
Were there a few special friends, I’m sure, that stuck by you pretty well the whole way through. What did that mean to you to have people that would sit next to you in the darkest nights?

Maddie Hardie:
I was very lucky. I had a group of 12 of us who… there’s a picture of me being carried in my hospital bed for the emergency to my admitting room, and there’s like 12 of them following me with all my things. But it’s just insane, because even if we were just on our phones or doing absolutely nothing, just their company, knowing that they took time out of their day to come drive to Abbotsford hospital and just hang out with me in a dingy hospital room just meant the world to me. And just because it can be very scary and just having a room full of doctors is a lot nicer when you have your friends with you.

Joshua Scott:
Totally. Totally. So maybe we have some other listeners who know somebody who’s going through something very similar to that, and you had some pretty great friends and family members who came around you. What would you encourage them to do in order to support somebody who’s very uncertain, who’s fearful? How should they come around and comfort? What’s the best thing to do for the people that we love when they’re in these moments?

Maddie Hardie:
Honestly, I think you just need to be there for them and whether that looks like you’re there physically or sending them messages or it doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. You just need to be there, and they just need to know that you are there for them 100% of the time.

Joshua Scott:
Yeah. Cool. I’ve heard it said a number of times, sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. Did you experience that? Was it just the company, the physical presence of somebody was comforting?

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah, yeah. And it was just kind of insane to me because I appreciated everyone reaching out, but it’s just sometimes that can be overwhelming when so many people have so many different opinions and advice and all that stuff, and it was just, it meant more to me to just have someone there.

Joshua Scott:
Was there anything in particular that maybe you can remember that somebody did say to you and it was an encouragement maybe because of who the person was or particularly because of what they said? Was there anything that just struck you as, “Wow, thank you God for the encouragement You’ve just given me through this person.” Was there ever a moment like that?

Maddie Hardie:
I think honestly, every message that I received, I was just-

Joshua Scott:
Every one.

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah.

Joshua Scott:
That’s cool.

Maddie Hardie:
It was pretty shocking to me, but I think one of the biggest things was people who I didn’t think I had an impact on or people that I just had a short conversation with at work or passed by at school, were the ones who reached out to me who I would classify as, we weren’t really close or whatever. They would just reach out to me and say, “Your smile really impacted me.” Or just something like that. And so, it was just eye-opening to me that every little thing we do are being watched and it really matters.

Joshua Scott:
Cool. Was there anything that somebody said to you that you would have rather they not say, that maybe you could help our listeners to think, “Okay, maybe these are some things I shouldn’t say to somebody when they’re in these difficult moments?”

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah, there were some. I think the biggest thing is, especially cancer-related, everyone has their opinions on treatment. And so especially when I was trying to process everything, it was a lot for me to have. There was a whole bunch of like natural suggestions or CBD suggestions, like all that kind of thing, and it’s just people are trying to be helpful, but you also need to be sensitive to that person going through the situation. And this is a whole like… Chemo and all that stuff was a very new thing for me, and so there’s a lot for me to think about and a lot for me to process, and to have 20 people’s opinions on treatment wasn’t very helpful and it was actually more overwhelming than anything. But for the most part…

Joshua Scott:
So since then, now God… It seems as though the cancer is gone. You’re not technically declared cancer free. How has God used your story because you’ve been able to share at your church? I’m sure you’ve been able to share with friends. Have you seen fruit from God’s work in your life to minister to others?

Maddie Hardie:
Well, it’s honestly been insane and even opportunities like this, I never thought that I be here sharing my story in this way. But it’s also been cool because I’ve had many people come up to me just with the connections I’ve had with my work or school, who are going through a similar situation with someone else or even personally themselves. And I’ve been able to walk with them or just share with them what’s helped me or what brought me through that. And so I never thought that I would be capable of that or in that position. And it’s just been really awesome that God has used me in that way.

Joshua Scott:
And this is a pretty significant life memory. This is a land marker for your life in many ways. How do you think that this is laying a foundation for how you’re going to carry on? Like does this change things from here on or do you just kind of pick up and say, “Well, I’ll carry on life as normal?”

Maddie Hardie:
Yes. As much as I want to carry on normally, it’s just this has affected me in a great way where it’s… I feel completely different than I did just six months ago. And so, it sounds very cliché, but just like my outlook on life is completely different. I just don’t want to take any moment for granted or any person for granted.
And I just think that God has provided me with this outlook on life and just my relationship with Him, that I never want to be in a mediocre state or live my life in a mundane way. And so, I think that, if anything, it’s just I just want to live my life differently and just more in His… Just actually follow the plan that He has for me and just be in tune with that.

Joshua Scott:
But how has your relationship been shaped, your relationship with God been shaped through that process so that now it’s different? Is it different?

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah, absolutely it’s different. I think that just moving forward, I never want to forget what God’s brought me through. And I think even in my past I have tended to. Time goes by and life gets crazy, and you just forget everything God’s brought you through to get you to where you are today. And so, I think moving forward, even if it’s 10 years down the road, I just never want to forget the miracle that He provided for me and my life. And I never want to lose the fire for God or this passion that I have. And so that would be my biggest…

Joshua Scott:
That’s cool. That’s cool. Your story is such a wonderful reminder for us, especially in North America where we have the sense that God doesn’t quite do miracles anymore. Your story stands out. He does miracles.

Maddie Hardie:
Absolutely.

Joshua Scott:
That’s very, very cool. I just pray that God would bless you as you finish your degree and as you head on into the rest of life. So, thank you for sharing with us, Maddie.

Maddie Hardie:
Yeah, of course.

Joshua Scott:
I really appreciate you joining us and it’s great to hear.

Maddie Hardie:
Absolutely. Thank you so much.

Kourtney Cromwell:
Thank you so much for listening today. I’m so glad that Maddie was able to join us and share with you her journey over the past year and how she has seen God work in her life. I think that each one of us can easily slide into complacency in our daily walk with God, even if it’s taken extraordinary things to get our attention in the past.
Maddie’s story serves as an important reminder that we should hold fast to God in all moments of our lives, from moments of joy to moments of fear and heartache. So, thank you Maddie for sharing your story with all of us. Maddie mentioned that the song Miracle by Mosaic Music was one of the songs that really helped her through her hospital stay and beyond. That’s the song that we have featured on this week’s episode, and we’ll have the link to it posted on the episode page online as well.
If there’s anything that you’d like to share with us, feedback, ideas, or critiques, I’d encourage you to send us a DM on social media. We’re on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, or you can email us at info@indoubt.ca.
Thanks again for joining us for this episode. I hope you’ll listen next week where we’ll have guest, Brian McConaghy, who’s going to be sharing with us about the work that he’s done with Ratanak and the realities of human trafficking today.

Kourtney Cromwell:
Thanks so much for listening. If you want to hear more, subscribe on iTunes and Spotify or visit us online at indoubt.ca or indoubt.com. We’re also on social media, so make sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

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Sunshine for Maddie - indoubt Podcast with Maddie Hardie

Who's Our Guest?

Maddie Hardie

Maddie Hardie is a 22 year old student at Trinity Western University studying to become an elementary school teacher. Maddie attends Southside Church and has been on the Music Team for six years. In Fall 2018, Maddie was diagnosed with Stage 4 Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma that was initially named untreatable and incurable. In April 2019, after an arduous journey of cancer treatments and hospital visits, her scans came back clear! Maddie credits the healing of her cancer diagnosis to God and loves sharing about her story, hoping to help whoever might need it.
Sunshine for Maddie - indoubt Podcast with Maddie Hardie

Who's Our Guest?

Maddie Hardie

Maddie Hardie is a 22 year old student at Trinity Western University studying to become an elementary school teacher. Maddie attends Southside Church and has been on the Music Team for six years. In Fall 2018, Maddie was diagnosed with Stage 4 Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma that was initially named untreatable and incurable. In April 2019, after an arduous journey of cancer treatments and hospital visits, her scans came back clear! Maddie credits the healing of her cancer diagnosis to God and loves sharing about her story, hoping to help whoever might need it.